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This is an archived posting from my previous website “Chips Antidotal Wanderings” – a personal blog about family, creative moments, and pain management activities in my life. That blog was active from 2004-2011.

“The Past That Lingers” was the theme this week at MMM. My art journal page is pictured here. If you click on the photo you’ll get a larger, more detailed view of it. There’s a lot of symbolism in this piece. Each element represents something that was lingering in my thoughts as I mindfully revisited my teen years.

Lingerings

The blue patterned papers and fabrics that make up the background represent the floral wallpapers in my room during that time in my life. The “Energy Arrows” show that there seemed to be an abundance of energy, while I was coming and going each day, spending less and less time at home with my family. I was always burning the candle at both ends.

The church and cross are about a religious upbringing and the control it had in my life. I was very involved with God-centered beliefs and the formal practices of Christianity. Much of the teachings/lessons I zeroed in on during my teens were those that involved “though shalt not” this that or the other. I remember thinking how it seemed I couldn’t do any of the things many of my peers were doing without committing some sort of sin against God. Every once in a while I’d go against those teachings and commit a dreaded sin… only to drown in self-pity and sorrow later. These few rebellious moments were a source of internal confusion and concern that constantly pulled at my guilt complex.

I directed an active puppet ministry which consumed much of my time. I was very passionate about this area of my life. In addition to the church puppeteering , I was working in family theater at a Six Flags theme park. I was also attending beauty school and debating over a career in puppetry or one in Cosmetology. I had a strong interest in both. That’s why the figure (me) is juggling the religious marionette-ed cross and a hair dryer. LOL Yeah, I know it’s corny. But I was a corny teenager too. Now I’m a corny adult. So it fits the collage.

Oh To Be a Teen

The teen years are a time of self discovery — or maybe a better description would be total confusion about oneself. It’s when we are trying to decide who we are and where we fit into the scheme of things. What’s our purpose? What are we suppose to do? Where should we go? We have multiple personalities depending on who we are conversing with. Always trying to meet the expectations of the other person and at the same time, somehow be true to ourselves. The three distinctively different heads represent these memories to me. I also picked faces with big smiles and pearly white teeth because I had braces at the time, could hardly wait to have them off, and longed for this glamorous look.

It’s also when the concept of love and romantic relationships was almost constantly on my mind. Going steady, breaking up, dating, dreaming, wondering, experimenting, yearning for that “someone perfect.” A time when I doodled xx’s and oo’s, hearts, lips, and Cindy + (whoever the current Bo’ was) = Love — on every little piece of paper I could find and the bathroom stall doors too.  Ssshhh… don’t tell anyone about the doors.  Major no-no there!

Now, as I think back on it, it seems like those years just whoooooshed by and escaped too quickly between my fingers. As I grew up and took on more responsibilities in life I came to realize that so many of the joys I experienced in my youth were simple in nature and easy to come by. Much easier than some of the joys I “work” to achieve now.

That’s pretty much the whole of the symbols I collaged on this journal page-spread. Hope you enjoyed a little walk down YOUR memory lane as you experienced this little piece of mine. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by and have a great day!
~Cindy

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